Being God’s Child (when you’re all grown up)
The invitation
God makes us the most unbelievable offer... to be our parent. Yes, even when we’re all grown up and have children of our own!
‘To all who did receive him [Jesus], to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God’. John 1:12
This is an invitation from God, to you, to be His child. But many of us don’t take up this offer. Or we don't live fully experiencing the connection, guidance and support that He wants to give us. Why? Because we're so busy doing the day-to-day grown upping of looking after everyone else. We've forgotten how to 'live on the child side'.
All change: on the parent side
I remember describing becoming a parent as entering a strange new world! Whether our children arrive through birth or adoption, the change is dramatic and lasting. Everything is different. Our sleep (or lack of it), our friendships, our hobbies, where we go, what we do. Even our relationship with God. Perhaps we used to rely on a small group, a Sunday service or a peaceful coffee in the morning to help us connect with God. And none of those seem possible anymore. Or we're just tired! Our head space and diaries are full. Connecting with God feels like one more thing that there's not room for.
Learning from our kids
But it is possible to be a child of God and a parent. The two aren't in conflict. In fact, our kids and our relationship with them can help us grow to know God better.
They are living, breathing examples of how to be a child that we see every day. So they can prompt and inspire us to be more childlike in how we relate to Him. There are so many things that they are good at, that we can learn from, like:
asking lots of questions
messing up without giving up
sharing their emotions
As they ask us questions, it can remind us to ask God questions. As we see them mess up but not give up, we can talk honestly to God about the areas we feel that we've failed in. We can ask him for forgiveness and the strength to carry on. As they share their emotions with us we can take a moment to tell God how we are feeling. You get the idea. No extra time, energy or capacity required. Phew!
My latest book, Being God's Child: A Parent's Guide explores ten of these ideas. Parents can work through them or dip in and out of them on their own or with others. Each one comes with questions to ponder, practical ideas of things to try and small group notes.
But what about the children?
But shouldn't we be focussing on helping our children know Jesus first, I hear you cry?! We already know all this stuff, we need to focus on teaching them.
It's great to want our children to meet and know God too. There are loads of fun and creative resources like the God for Kids app and books that can help them. Absolutely, make the most of these!
But we all know there are days that we forget to use those or we run out of time or energy. If we only focus on children's resources, we're also missing a trick. One of the most effective and easiest ways to help our kids connect with God is to make it a priority in our lives. Then to let them see or hear that.
Being God’s Child by Anna Hawken
Creating windows
At Parenting for Faith, we call it 'creating windows'. It's one of the five key tools that we share with parents and carers. It builds on the way we learn many things - by watching and then trying it for ourselves. Children learn to talk, cook and navigate a phone by watching the adults in their life. In the same way, they can learn to connect with God by seeing how we do it and having a go. All you need to do is take something that you already do with God and tweak it so that they get to to see or hear it. They can watch or listen and start to work out what their relationship with Him looks like.
You don’t have to share every detail of the ups and downs of your life with God. Even a glimpse can give them an idea of how to have a real two-way connection with him themselves.
Take something you do to connect with God, such as praying, worshipping or reading your Bible. So much of that happens whilst they're at school or in bed, in your head or behind closed doors. How could you could make it more visible?
What about reading the Bible in the actual book (not on your phone!) and leaving it out? Put a Bible podcast on whilst you're making dinner or during breakfast. Could you stick a verse that’s helping you at the moment on the fridge or save it as your lock screen?
Do you pray with other people? Could you leave the door ajar while you’re praying with a friend. Or when your phone pings, share that it's a prayer request and you're chatting to God about. Could you pray out loud rather than in your head sometimes?
You don't have to pick sides! Enjoy being a parent and God's child.
Be inspired by your children with new ways that you could connect with God. Learn from their wonderful child-like ways. And help them see what being God's child looks like for you - a real, imperfect relationship. That they can watch and copy as they find their own version.
Keep journeying together and learning from each other in the normal everyday chaos that is family life!
Anna Hawken is the Parenting for Faith Ministry Lead at Christian charity, BRF.
She hosts the Parenting for Faith podcast and presents the Parenting for Faith Babies and Toddlers Course. She is the author of Being God's Child: A Parent's Guide. She is mum to three (nearly four!) children under eight.